headmate.party

Eternally celebrating life both internal and external

Moving House And Memories

Good glubbin gog, the new site design is so much better. I won't say that we have a perfect eye for design or anything of the sort, but at least the website is minimally functional. There is now a color scheme! And reasonable presetentation of the content within! And other such things. While I'm certainly a fan of keeping things simple, I do appreciate a nice dark theme. We used AO3 and Xe Iaso's website as points of reference for design and for using modern CSS.

I can't say that the website is accessible despite having done our best to do so; it is one of the many things I hope we can improve in this place in the near future. We also need an RSS feed or whatever technology is the favored one for syndication, and a comments system. As this is a static website, comments will have to be external; we've got our eye on Chirpy but truly only time will tell if that is what we will eventually settle on. Right, and there's the Author/About page. Mmmm. Maybe we'll just stay mysterious, who knows (we won't but don't quote me on that).

That aside, I wanted to take a moment to talk about a major happening in our life. We are moving to a new residence, and we are pretty glubbin excited about it. We'll be moving from an apartment where we've spent the better part of the last decade into a proper house. It is a strange feeling, having actual ownership over the place we will live. We've been bouncing from rented apartment to rented apartment ever since moving away from our parents at body age 18. I'm so glubbin greatful we are able to actually afford a place; the days are long gone when everyone could be expected to be able to do it, and it is by our lucky stars only that we can make it this far.

Ah, speaking of stars. The stars at the new place will be amazing, or so we hope at least. It has a large yard with plenty of space to see the sky. The horizon is a bit dotted with a tree line, but right in the middle will have a prefect view. Perhaps we'll build a tower or platform there to see things better. Regardless, not living next to the city will, no doubt, make things so much more clear.

[VANTAR]: We saw the tip of my constell8ion the other night when we were stargazing! Scorpius, where Antares is. Otherwise known as pretty much the 8est constell8ion there is ::::)

[BELLA]: the Libra next to it was p great too! v nice, v clear.

[VANTAR]: It was! Me and Tezubi just hanging out together in the sky. Good times.

I just can't w8 until we move and can see it again. It's going to look so good!

[BELLA]: Right? 38D

On a more somber note, we've of course been doing a large portion of packing. While doing so, we came across an old "box of memories" as we call it, a bin where we've placed birthday cards, holiday cards, personal letters and hand-made gifts we simply cannot bring ourselves to throw away over the years. We went through the box and found a difficult series of notes from a past person, a significant other of times past. It detailed their falling for us and how much they valued the time we had spent going out together and that they'd like to be together for a long time to come.

We received this note in the same meeting that we broke up with them at, right after we did.

The timing was unforutnate, but I cannot believe it was anybody's fault. Rather, they had simply decided to give it to me on the same day that I had decided I wanted to deliver the news of breaking up. But what soon followed after that was a long, long series of difficult and strained relationships due to other poor choices I'd later make in life. As a result, we feel we have wronged this person very badly and in a way we will never fix.

I came across a second letter from them, sent during the summer after the end of our relationship. It was another handwritten note which detailed how they were getting along and how they were so grateful for our time together.

Reading it filled us with regret at all we had done and the relatively recent total contact cut off we had to initiate. It was for the best. The life we have chosen is incompatible with such things. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope that they're still out there doing great things. I hope that same thing for all persons whose thread of destiny wove across our own, for however long it does. But my thread has split from theirs, and it must stay that way.

Perhaps one day I'll feel up to getting into all that happened. Rest assured I was not a good person in the ways that I acted. Foolish and as a child learning to grow up. There are many things that we can never forgive ourselves for, and though at the time this person and being with them was not one of them, things have changed and it's impossible to view it in the same light.

What's done is done I suppose. All we can do is move forward, and sometimes we don't get the privlege of fixing what we have broken. But what we can do is move forward and vow never to do such things again, with the people who accept us as we are.

How depressing this post has grown. The upside is that this move is exactly what we need. We will leave many bad memories behind, including some associated with this person, and strike ever forward in a new beginning.

I cannot wait until that time arrives.

Until next time,

Bella of ThickAether